It is normal.

It's been a while. I know.

All this time I have been running on my toes chasing deadlines and such but now I sense that I will have ample time, to leisure hence blog.

How do you feel when your boss asked you to redo your wok?

Honestly I feel... dejected. I know I should not be feeling that way but my perfectionist side just couldn't help it. Perhaps I was yearning for credits, much to my ashame.

I took some moment in the toilet to think. It is normal to be told to repair your work! It is only normal isn't it?

Somebody should start telling me stop being paranoid and not to take it personally.

It's only a job. And when it comes to job, what matter the most is the company. Not me.

Hope is still in the air

I used to think that I will never find true love. Yes, I met throngs of men, some were attractive some were not nevertheless I always give them the chance they deserve.

Out of many relationships I had, there was this particular guy who really broke my heart. Initially I was the one who wanted to break his heart knowing that I am not more than just a roller coaster ride for him. He did not see me for the person I want him to see.

I should have known form the moment he asked what sex position do I like the most. He even asked me to send him a naked picture of me. Before you gasp, let me tell you. I did not. I am not stupid.

Despite all that I was so blind by .. I don’t really know. It could be his persona and his aura because I wouldn’t that he’s that good looking (still the most good looking amongst my exes) but there’s something about him that made girls turned their head to look at him twice.

So when the relationship ended, I was crushed, crestfallen. I told him I wanted to leave since I didn’t see any future in the relationship. Perhaps I should be more blatant; perhaps I should just say “Marry me”.

He let me go like a snap and never even call me anymore.

Foolishly I thought he was irreplaceable.

I went through a very hard time, especially not too long after that I found out that he reconciled with his ex who is a fucking surgeon. How am I able to compete?

Well that was me then. Neurotic and pathetic.

The reason why I am writing this piece of crap is simply because I want to say that, I am glad he did what he did and I am glad I did what I did.

If not for that experience, that pang of bitterness I would never find the guy I am dating today.

He was nothing like the guy who broke my heart.

Not good looking, not even a bit.
Not popular.
Not a head turner.
No special aura.

But one thing for sure.

He made my heart feel the warmth again.

2009

It has been months and I am not counting. Apologise is on my side, I have loads of agenda to face and settle.

Within few unconscious blinks, 2008 is over and 2009 is here. Did you managed to complete your 2008 resolution? Well, neither do I although I did manage to gain something else.

2008 is the year I totally neglect my self. I skipped all my beauty regime, neglect my body, eat whatever I want and did not hear what my heart says. To tell you the truth, the result was quite bad. I am now left with bloated, acne, dehydrated face. Have even no heart to start describing about my tresses and my body.

So my 2009 resolution would be

1. No meat, no rice. More vege and fruits
   



2. Not skipping any beauty regime
   



3. 8 glasses of water per day
   



4. And the most dreaded..excercise!

I may sounded a little different in this post. Seldom I unleashed the vain part of me but when you wake up and saw how revolting your face look like and how people glued on your bulging tummy instead of the usual glued-at-your-boobs, you know it’s that time to do something.

Maybe I left a tiny detail here. My tummy is at the same par as my boobs.

Need any more valid reason?

Last for today. Happy New Year.