He- Who I loathe

Of all the mistakes that I’ve made, there was one particular mistake that I really wish to perish because every time I think about it, I cringe. And my blood will rush to my face

He was that mistake.

I do not wish to divulge what he did but he had made me look like a total fool in front of everyone. Because of him, I accused, I blamed and I let the ugly side of me ran wild to those who were innocent just to get my point across.

Yes, I did it because of him, but not because I felt he needed to be protected but I did it because he made me do it. He manipulated me and played with my mind until my sanity got thinner. I think, it would only be fair if I share some of the responsibility. As a person, no matter how hard the pressure was, I should remain compose.

But I did not.

He was an ancient chapter in my life but somehow he still haunts me everyday and I am still trapped in my guilt for what I did to the others. Although I was told that I was forgiven, somehow it is inadequate. Sorry and regrets could never mend torn and broken hearts. Sorry and regrets could never undo things.

I hate him. Very much, with every vein I have in my body. For not only he had ripped me apart but for the humiliation and discomfort that I have to bear till this very day. It is not common for me to wish bad things and doomsday to people but to him I do.

I believe He is listening, He is looking and I believe, despite what he said, despite what he claimed, I am vindicated.

I am.